Malaysia: Screwd by Racism

Exactly what the title says. I mean seriously. Usually I don't really give a damn about whatever shit the government is doing or trying to do. But recently, I keep hearing about racism. And in my opinion,  its all CRAP. Excuse my language but yeah.

Chinese against Malay. Indian against chinese. Malay against Indian. DUDE!! COME ON! We're all one country, people. Not only that we are ONE, INDEPENDANT country. We're supposed to be UNITED. I mean, honestly, I'm like barely 15, and I understand that if we didn't come together, we wouldn't have independance. If you remember, the British said that they would only give us independance if we all come together. Our ancestors spent years, not months, not weeks, YEARS, on uniting different races so that we could have the independance we have today, Why throw all that away now?

Not allowing history to repeat itself. Isn't that the reason, students like us have to crack our friggin brains to study the history of our country? This should'nt be happening. Fuck cares if Malays were the original settlers here. This is the 21st century. Not the 19th. We're all the citizens of this country and we all have our rights here.

I honestly don't get what all this is about. Making huge fusses over something like this. So what if we're chinese, or malay, or indian? What if we're christian, or buddhist, or islam, or hindu? We're still friends. Family even. There are people who are part indian, part chinese. Or part malay part indian, or whatsoever. Its just the matter of our skin tone, our language, our cultures that might be different. But inside we're still the same. We all love, and hate. Like and dislike. We all have feeling and have people whom we love and want to protect. We're all human. So what the f**k is the problem?

People all over the country are beating people up, or being beaten up, and arguing and fighting. Dudes, that's just wrong. No matter what religion you belong to, this isn't what they teach you, right? We all have our own rights. You can be Malay and Islam, I can be Chinese and christian, and still be friends. You know what? Right now, we, as high school students, are being more civilized and sensible than some sdults in our government, and country out there.

Anyw. one more thing I'd like to address is that we all have our own rights to believe in whatever  we believe in. And because of that, we owe each other. at the very least, respect. For example, Malays can't really show PDA right? Fair enough. We don't hafta go "Aiyo...what is this man?? Weird la you!" Its their own choice, and belief so leave them be. Its not other people's bussiness whether they show PDA or not. The same goes for other races, and customs. On the other hand, making people do things your way, or the way your customs are, that's wrong too. Just like everyone else should repect your customs, you should respect theirs.

And to the govenment of Malaysia, you people better check your facts before you make any decisions. If you don't look at it from the point of view of the people who live here, you're gonna be really screwd because people are gonna start moving out and you'll start having problems. Well, new ones. If word gets out that Malaysia is really crappy, you honestly think that tourists would wanna come here? Even the fame of the Petronas Twin Towers won't be able to save you. I'm serious.

Its really as if, the more time that passes by, the more un-united. so called, we're getting. When we're supposed to be getting closer. See? M'sia really IS getting screwd, and all because of a stupid, unresonable thing called Racism.

~Angel~

shootings and heartaches.

I'm sure that most of you heard about the shooting at NIU on valentine's day of this year. That's right. It was just last week. And I thought I was having a rough day. To be quite honest, I just read about it a few minutes ago. If you didn't know, on 14 february, 2008, 27-year-old former sociology student Stephen Kazmierczak burst into the geology class that day and started shooting, killing 5 people. One of the students who lost his life that day, along with four others, was Daniel Parmenter. His girlfriend, along with 15 others, was wounded, but alive. But her deepest wound, I think, will come from knowing that Daniel was dead.

I was so surprised when I realised that it happened on Valentine's day. Even though it wasn't exactly one of the best days, it was still awesome... regardless of what my mom said and/or did. We both had it rough that day but, now, knowing that a young girl lost a person she loved that day, really shook me. It somehow hit really close to home. *sigh* Hard to explain.

And Keith's moping, and emo-ing and having a huge pity party, as he's done the past three days. I know he's upset that I'm moving in a few months. But does he honestly think that I don't get upset and depressed thinking about it as well? I've thought about it countless times and the only reason I'm not crying my eyes out is because I want to be happy with him. I don't want to spend the limited time we have together all down and depressed and moody.

I hate it when he's like that because it brings me down too. I love him a lot more than I let on, and seeing him like that is painful. I won't say that I regret making the decision to go to the States, because I don't. I don't regret that choice, and I don't regret meeting him either. The only thing I do regret is not being able to have more time with him, and the pain that I've caused and will cause him. Yes, its IS my dream to go there. But it doesn't mean that it won't hurt like hell to leave. However, I believe that God put me, us, here for a reason, even if it does feel like we're being toyed with sometimes.

Anyw, um, peace to the families of the victims, and those who have been impacted in any way by the horrible tragedy. May they all be in your prayers.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal."

of everythings and nothings.

I'm like, laughing my head off. I'm reading Sheena's blog and its SO cute!! =P Honestly. And her blog is so nice...=.= How do people blog anyw? I just write whatever crap pops into mind or anything I have to say or show off. hahaha....

Oh yeah. Announcement: As soon as I figure blogdrive's system out, I'll be using that blog. Err... the link is http://whisperingwings.blogdrive .com ^^ I'm so happy with the link. But I'm clueless about how to put the site together. Ish.

Anyw, yesterday was a relatively good day. Especially compared with the week I had, which was crap. I got sick, I got pissed off at my mom, ruined valentine's day for my boyfriend (=.="), worried about him like hell, had the worst friday ever... the list goes on. But still, Keith's seldom a darker spot of my life...sure it happens...but most of the time he makes me go =D. Like yesterday. ^^ Even though he just kept quiet while I merajuk-ed. Okay, pretended to merajuk, but still, ISH! What kind of BF is THAT mann...?? And he expects me to ALWAYS pujuk him...blehh... ohwells. Love him anyw. Even if he DOES make my phone bill freakishly high because I'm the one who has to call him. =.=""

Err..okay. Yesterday... hmm...got to Summit round 1.35/1.40 and while I was in the car, got annoyed at mom (again). I don't know why... but I've been pretty on edge with her lately. Argh anyw, said curt goodbyes to her, since she was flying to cambodia at 4. Walked around a bit, called Keith to say I'd meet him at MPH because I was too lazy to figure out how to get outta there. Mainly 'cause I haven't been to Summit in a LONG time. Walked out of MPH and bought me a bracelet, went back to MPH.

Then Keith called and said to meet him at Starbucks. When I got there, I looked around for him, and as expected, he wasn't there yet. Rang Mel and started chatting to her. All the while keeping my eyes open for Keith. I kept thinking I saw Keith but it keeps turning out to be a different person. I even mistook this woman for him... (Sorry!!) Same hair color and her hair was short larhh! Though I think she was wearing a skirt... errr.... oops?

Anyw, at 2, he finally arrived. Late. I saw him but I just quickly walked the other way as if I haven't seen him at all, just concentrating on my phone call...and he just tailed me... until I turned around. = = After a (highly comfy ^^) hug, walked around looking for lunch and had that same debate.

"Where'r we gonna eat?"

"I dunno? Wherever you wanna eat."

"Aiyo...you choose larhh.."

"No la..you choose."

"Anything la. Whatever you want."

"I demand you choose where we eat."

"I order you to choose where we eat."

...

Ended up eating at Mandy's. Had fish and chips while he had lamb chop. The lil pig. ^^ It had like side orders!!! We both had muushroom soup. It was goooood.....After that we basically walked around aimlessly. I bought a necklace. And because I didn't really want Keith to pay for it, I told him to walk a distance and face the other way. THEN, I paid for it. Heh. I bought shoes too. ^^ They're so cute. Hehe...

Round 5, went to the Summit hotel where there was the whoo valentine's party thing. Was great. Music, a skit, and Pastor Sandra spoke to us about Love. Even met Audrey again. And at one point, around when we prayed, I felt like cryin. I don't know why it happens but its something that hit close to home. =/

~*~*~

You know what, they say that smart girl listen, but don't believe, kiss but don't fall in love, and leave, before they're left. I'm not one of those girls, but sometimes I wish I was.

Bad News.

Yeah, I know I already wrote today, but I just recieved some horrible news. My freind, whom I have not been in contact with for around 6-10 years, in now an orphan. I mean, I knew about his mother's death, which occured around 2006...I think. So I thought, at least he's still got his dad. Well, now he doesn't even have his dad anymore. I'm like, in total shock. Not like, the frozen type of shock. Just shocked. After all, I don't remember a time when I didn't know him and his fam. And he's MY age, which is 14. Poor guy, he must've been devastated.

But he has two older sisters. And they're both working now, thank the Lord. However, he's staying with his aunt. Well, it could've been worse. They're so going into my prayers tonight.

My Valentine.

As most of us know, Valentine's Day is a blessing and a curse. And after being under the curse of february 14 for 14 years, I expected this year's valentine to be at least okay. So when Keith decided he'd come over after school and bring me out for lunch for valentine's day, I thought, "This Valentine's Day may just turn out great." As time passed, I started thinking, "Today is going to be SO perfect!" What happened was this:

So, after science, I headed for the auditorium entrance, accompanied by my friends. Put my bag down and start chatting excitedly with my friends. I couldn't wait to see him. When he came(which was late), I started screaming. Couldn't help myself, I was so excited, and so happy to see him. He'd baked me cupcakes(which turned out to be pretty good actually). I was beyond high. Anyws, walked to Parade, had lunch together and walked around. Everything was totally right. Hand in hand. He's holding my bag. I'm swinging the cupcakes. Yeah. Then, mom called... so, our little valetnine's date got cut short a bit. Okay. Walk around lil more till mom comes. He escorts me to the car, greets my mom, watch us drive away a bit, then runs to the bus stop. The minute I get into the car, she starts talking crap about him. I know she's joking, but it gets to me anyways, because I honestly don't like the way she teases me.

 I'm not about to get into detail here. Basically, she insulted him in a way that pushed me off the edge. First, I'm okay. But, when I got home, I thought about it, and I got really mad. I blew up at my diary and wasted two pages worth of space with my anger. I didn't feel any better so I decided to call him. He picks up. Its noisy. He says., "all you back in ten mins." I felt even worse then. Popped in a worship cd and started singing along to the first track. I know I'm gonna cry, but I hold in the tears anyw. Halfway through, however, I break down and the tears start flowing. I keep singing anyw.

Something happened in the middle of the second track that made me feel better. Nevermind what. But Dad called at my mood fell again. Halfway through the CD, Keith's ringtone starts playing. I pause the song,a nd call him back. And at some point in the conversation, HE gets pissed off. What we said to each other however is private and therefore will not be in this entry. But he did, kinda, sorta, yell at me and I basically couldn't stop crying for about an hour after.

~*~

So much for a perfect Valentine's. I know he's really disappointed that I didn't get my perfect valentine's. But I wish he knew he made it perfect, eventhough my mom crushed my mood after. My Valentine's Day ended the moment I got in the car. See, baby, I DID have my perfect valentine's. I also wish he knew that him sulking is what really upsets me. I've tried to squeeze a giggle from him for almost 24 hours now. I didn't get one. Not one. All I got was, a few monotonous "I'm fine"s and a lot of bitching. I regret telling calling him. Letting him know that I was upset about my mom. I ruined his first valentine and he didn't deserve that. Some girlfriend I'm turning out to be. I made my own bf hate Valentine's Day. To tell the truth, its a wonder he hasn't dumped me yet.

Not that I want him to. I mean, I love him like hell. Honestly. I don't get all out of control like I did in 06 when I saw FY or heard his voice or something. Because of this, I doubted my feelings for Keith in the beginning. But I do love Keith. I love him more than he thinks he knows.